The Icing on the Cake
Aluna Joy - 5/2001

I consider my sister Connie to be a very wise woman. Once in a while she will say something that triggers deep introspection and this introspection usually changes my life. In my recent conversation with her I was sharing the state of my life. I told her that I realized that I live a life most people would envy. I live in a very beautiful place of my choosing. I travel all over the world. I have very interesting, like minded friends and 2 beautiful daughters and a new grandson. I work when I want to, and play when I want to and I answer to no one but the creator. I have had many magical and mystical experiences in my life. The best of it was that I have and powerful and intimate relationship with the creator. I should be really happy to be in charge of my life, to live the way my heart calls me to. But I also told her of the emptiness I feel now, in spite of the seaming full, interesting and down right adventurous life I lead. There is something missing, and this year it has become painfully clear, not just for me but for so many. I feel emptiness because I do not have a deep and intimate personal relationship. Victories and adventures are dulled when there is no one home to share them with. When I was finished, Connie said" Sounds like you have all the icing without the cake."

Now Connie has lead a blessed life with very little chaos, at least from my perspective. She married her one and only, and still to this day glows from the love they share. They have raised 3 sons together who are all exceptional adults and delivered Connie and husband Pete, with a house full of beautiful grandchildren. The respect they have for each other is amazing and the glow of real deep intimacy shows. Connie knows what cake is, and she works hard to keep cake in her life. What they have, I feel most are searching for and darn it, I want my cake, icing and all, and get to eat it to! And why not! Why can�t we have everything our heart desires and feel fulfilled? And what stops us from having it all! Why do so many on the spiritual path endure traumatic relationships or have no relationship at all?

This conversation - cake icing theory - lead me into a whole process of thought over the next few weeks. I looked at where I was not fulfilled and where my extended family felt unfulfilled. I knew of some who had lived the solitary life for many years were now coming to a place where they were beginning to feel a deep loneliness, and I had to ask myself why. I looked at the world in general and looked at how we try to full those empty spots inside of us. And I had to ask why the empty spots seam to be getting larger rather than smaller with our spiritual growth. Maybe this has something to do with the Star Elders statement this past March about this being the year of the HEART!

I began to see a pattern in various groups. First there are those who crave the depth in life, but seam to have an abundance of sweet icing. They want the home, the intimate family and loving partner, the garden in the back, and a kitty in the window still. It isn�t that they do not appreciate the icing, they do, it just the icing has no home base, no roots in which to rest after a great adventure or victory. The icing doesn�t fulfill the spirit and these ones know there is more to life than they have been getting. They are open to the experience, but for some reason it does not appear. They have tasted cake on occasion and they know what they are missing.

Then there are the ones who would rather grab the easy fix and go for the icing. They feel if they get the new car, the big house, the perfect job, or Barbie Doll girl friend or Prince Charming that they will be happy. Let face it the new car will get scratched, and house will have to be cleaned over and over, and job will become a boring routine once again� and Barbie doesn�t have a brain, and prince charming never gets off his white horse. Its all icing, very sweet upon first taste but will make us sick if we eat to much of it. But it is the sweet stuff many keep going back for. We are so addicted to it, and yet we still feel so empty. We run from fear of being hurt and the hard work that it takes to bake the cake that is the very foundation for the icing we crave.

Then there is the really sad group who forgets there is cake at all. They are like squirrels on a treadmill going around and around working night and day to keep up the icing high. These ones have no idea what they are missing. They have only tasted icing and the cake has eluded them completely. My question is if you never tasted the cake how do you know what you are missing. Maybe you don�t.

Then I discovered conflicting spiritual teachings�. Marianne Williamson in her book "Enchanted Love" shares that the coming together of two people is a magical and mystical experience and something that we should dive into it with total abandon to receive the gifts the creator is giving us. But the collective consensus out in the world is saying to be careful� be discerning� Watch out! Isn�t this approaching relationship with fear and not love? And if we approaching relationship with fear will we manifest the relationship we want? Is it true we get what we give?

Don Miguel Ruiz in his book "Mastery of Love" says that we need to fulfill ourselves first before we can fulfill ourselves in a relationship. I believe we need to know ourselves to be able to draw in the right person BUT still in nature nothing exists without an intimate connection with something else. We are part of nature. Do you see anything under the sun that does not need something else to survive? We not autonomous beings, as much as we would like to be. Are we using spiritual new-age concepts and teachings to avoid intimacy? Are we using them to protect ourselves from getting hurt? Are we using this kind of teachings build a wall in which to protect our wounded hearts, to avoid possible future pain, instead of risking and opening ourselves to God�s magical gifts of Love.

Now don�t get me wrong here, I love Marianne Williamson and Don Miguel and other teachers like them. Without a doubt they are opening us to look at ourselves in new and expanded ways. These teachings are profound yet they also seam to create a lot of confusion about relationship, relationship to ourselves and each other. We are torn between living in the idealism of spirit and the reality of being human. And darn it! � we all want our cake and eat it to! And no clich� saying is going to tell us other wise. Right?

Christ said to go into the kingdom of heaven as a little child. Children do not approach life with fear. They don�t worry that if they take their first steps they will fall and hurt themselves. � and when they do fall, they feel it, get up, and go do it again and again until they get it right. They live with wonder, curiosity and LOVE. Most of all their hearts are not yet closed, their minds not programmed with limiting concepts. They take life as it comes to them. Do we? Has life�s challenges closed us down? Has our painful experiences made us jaded, cautious and overly discerning? Are we missing on the big cosmic cake because we go for the safely or the instant gratification of a little icing.

Lets face it, a blob of icing without the cake underneath it, is just a blob of icing. Icing needs cake! Cake needs icing. And we need each other so lets quit pretending that we don�t. Lets quit twisted profound spiritual concepts to hide behind. Let quit professing everything is wonderful when it isn�t. It is time to get real. It is time to feel the heart not just speak about it. It is not codependent to desire a deep relationship with another human being to feel fulfilled! It being human, it is being real, it is natural. Many spiritual teachings forget that we are human! And how to we bring together the spiritual and humanness that we are in a fulfilling way?

I began to think in deeper terms about relationship and how it relates our planet. If we can�t get real with each other, how can we assume we can get it right with humanity and manifest harmony! If we can�t be vulnerable, intimate and committed to our girl friends/boyfriends, husband/wife, mother/father, sister/brother how can we with humanity as a whole. But we know it takes a hot kitchen to bake these kinds of cakes. If we can�t stand the heat, we run for the icing and end the day we feel empty. It is time to honor our humanness and honor our hearts desires. It is time to quit using spiritual concepts to mind trip ourselves into denying ourselves of what we truly want. Being a human on earth is a spiritual experience and all that it offers us experience in body, mind and spirit. We crave relationships and community that will support us on our worst days and that will be there to celebrate our victories. We are human, but we are also spirit, and we need to honor both sides of our beingness.

This progression of thought might have been triggered by the recent passing of both my parents or even the abrupt departure of my long time partner last year. It might have been triggered by a 6 month classic imitation relationship I endured. Six months of "nothing was what it seamed�. It was this illusion�s thick icing that gave me a real deep, but new perspective and understanding of what icing really is, and why we are all still so hungry, me included. Maybe our addition to icing or the fact that we only have icing, comes from deep woundings or the simple fact we do not recognized that there is a cake waiting for us at all. Maybe we forgot that the heat created in the kitchen to bake the cake is worth the sweat.

One day all that we owned, created and did here on this plane will pass away. It is a fact. All that we will take with us is the love we shared, the conenctedness we have experienced with one another and the lessons we learned. This is the real stuff, the stuff that makes life rich. It is the soft and crumbling cake we need. To gobble up every crumb while it is still warm from the oven like it was the last one crumb and to lick the plate like a child when we are done. We need deep and intimate connection with others, and with God. What we crave most is eternal.

The Star Elders say this is the year of the Heart. They didn�t say it would be easy. Opening the heart and living with love takes work and the kitchen gets hot when you bake an eternal cake. If we look to nature and God�s creation all around us, nothing under the sun can survive without a intimate connection with something else. We are all working together, to deny this fact is to deny nature itself. I am beginning to see that the days of the spiritual hermit, the lone seeker are over. We have all done the hermit thing. We have fasted on the mountain tops and we have gone to the desert. We have isolated ourselves from each other because of hurt and trauma. We have learned who we are. Maybe the loneliness many are beginning to feel is a universal push to bring us together once again. First a partner , then community, country and planet. The heat in the kitchen is getting too hot to do the baking alone. The desire to share deeply with another is not dysfunctional, it is natural and healthy. The Maya have a saying, "In Lak�ech - A La Kin". It means, I am you and you are me. It reminds me we are simply wanting to re-connect the other parts of ourselves. It is time to recognize that we need each other to create our dream and to feel fulfilled, because we are a part of each other. In fact we have never been separate. It has been the greatest illusion.

I don�t have any more answers than when I began this quest for understanding relationship. In fact I seam to have more questions. Over this year I have shared many things I have been feeling. Sometimes is scares me to do this, but I try with all my heart to live open and be vulnerable. I know things are changing and we are not really sure how things are going to end up. All we know is what we have been doing in not working anymore and we are all looking for the answers, the new path. But the one thing I am sure of it that the answers can only come from our open hearts.

Aluna Joy Yaxk'in . . . A Star Messenger - Earth Oracle - Soul Reader - Sacred Site Junkie was literally born awake and in the company of her guides, the Star Elders. Today she has evolved into an author, spiritual life coach, sacred site guide, alternative historian, ordained minister and modern mystic. In the Inca world, Aluna is considered a Qawaq (cow-wak), a clairvoyant or seer of living energy. Aluna acts as a spiritual archaeologist using her clairvoyant / clairsentient gifts to excavate current messages from the masters of ancient, enlightened cultures to uncover what affect this has on humanity and the collective consciousness. She is well known for her down to earth, accepting attitude that makes each one feel like they have come home. She inspires and encourages others to recognize and accept their own authentic divinity and connection to the Creator. "Our groups are family, and each one is a teacher and also a student. We work together as a team to unravel the sacred mysteries of life." Aluna coined the term "sacred site junkie" because she is one herself. After her first trip to Tulum, Mexico, her life changed dramatically, and she was sent on an entirely different path in life. Since this time, her work has been influenced by uncountable shamanic experiences in sacred sites of Mexico, Guatemala, Belize, Honduras, Peru, Bolivia, Egypt, Greece, England, Australia and New Zealand. Aluna has been leading groups in the Maya world since 1986, the Inca world since 1996, and the Egyptian world since 2008, and the mystical world of Avalon (England and Scotland) since 2007. Aluna offers Star Elder Sessions, formulates Sacred Site Essences and a free newsletter. She is the author of "Mayan Astrology" and her articles have been published worldwide. Website: Facebook: YouTube:

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A few of the hundreds of your responses to the "Icing on the Cake" Article
(wish I could post all of them!)

We think it is our hearts intense emptiness and desire for merging, that we untiringly quest for Love. We consider it a flaw, and a weakness we must master. But the reality is the Great Maker that has put the emptiness inside of us, reminding us of what we have forgotten. The Great Maker is calling us to back to love, and we reach out with arms wide open with tears in our eyes. The Great Maker is beaconing us home to a place that has burned us over and over again, yet we keep reaching, keep desiring, keep burning, because it is the Great Maker calling us back to love, to merge with one another. How could we deny such a powerful call. ~ Aluna Joy

You are an interesting species... and interesting mix. You are capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone.... only your not. See... in all our searching the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable... is each other. (The Vegan in the movie Contact)

A Response from my sister Connie, who inspired the article ....
I was very honored to be mentioned in your letter, The Icing on the Cake. I can see that the idea led you to a great many questions and some realizations. Your article was awesome, one of the best of yours I've ever read, I think. It's easy to understand why you got so many comprehensive and complimentary responses.

I hope your readers don't assume that your sister has "attained enlightenment" or has all the answers or anything like that. It's true that Pete and I have been extremely fortunate, and I try to remember to thank God for all our blessings, all day long. I think Pete would say that the secret of success is just to keep putting one foot in front of the other, every day. Just doing what is right, every time we're faced with a choice, day by day, year by year.

I sure don't have any answers concerning personal relationships. I have some ideas about how to nurture a loving relationship after it develops, but I don't have any idea how you go about finding the right one in the first place. I wish I did!

There is a paragraph in your article that sounds almost exactly like a part of the sermon we heard in church this morning. Your paragraph starts, " One day all that we owned, created and did here on this planet will pass away... All that we will take with us is the love we shared, the connectedness we have experienced with one another... This is the real stuff, the stuff that makes life rich." Beautiful! So true!! There is a song by Nat King Cole that I love -- oh what is the name of it?? -- but the refrain goes something like, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved, in return."

I believe that God created us to provide fellowship for him. He wants our love and attention. (He gave us partners because, as it says it Genesis, "It was not good for man to be alone." Here on earth, we need each other, that's for sure.) The longing that we feel, that spiritual longing for evidence of the Creator, was put there in our hearts by God himself. Each of us manifests the Creator's intent in different ways. If we're made in his image, I think it means that we are to be creative, too, each in our own way. Many artists, poets and writers speak of the mysterious ways God works through them to manifest beauty in this world. The smallest daily acts can be works of art for God.

I also think that the questions you raise in your article are much the same ones human beings have been asking since time began. Because we are human, we are limited in our knowledge of God's ways, but we are always drawn to him, instinctively, and looking for evidence of him. I really don't believe the earth is experiencing something altogether "new" these days. The ancients asked the same questions. Only God knows the answers. I try to love the mystery.

I agree with some of your readers who thanked you for the service you provide for them, for the encouragement, for your honesty and courage in speaking the questions so many people struggle with. It's Truth, with a capital T. No false fronts, no game playing, no pretending. As you look around at all your friends and family, don't be misled by appearances of perfection. Nobody has it all together. We're all just doing the best we can, day by day. Some have succeeded more than others, it seems, but who are we to judge God's plan for their lives? (end)

Hi Aluna,
Thanks once again for hitting the nail squarely on the head...I can really appreciate your honesty in this "year of the heart".. Mary Lomando - Egyptologist & Astrologer Pompano Beach, Florida

oh my gosh, Aluna!
I just finished reading your letter....thanks! read as if you were talking "exactly" about what I am going through! Unbelievable! And I'm sure there's a whole lot of others going through the same thing. So, what's the answer? I've been asking myself that in the last 4 weeks, coincidentally, since my return from Machu Picchu! I know the energies have everything to do with what I have been experiencing! Of course it didn't hit me (up-side the head!) until I returned home, and boy-oh-boy, what a roller-coaster ride it's been! .....I've indeed opened up several more layers, and don't know where this will all lead me- hopefully in doing so I am healing all this cellular memory stuff. ..... And so yes, here too, is another kindred spirit, with a blown-open heart and soul, wanting, searching, and wondering if I will ever have my twin flame; someone to share Life and all her glorious adventures with, after so many years of spiritual search in solitary mode....I pray for you, myself and all others in this same ship, that in Divine Time, we shall have our cake and icing too! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continuous sharing! Love and Blessings! White Star

Aloha Aluna Joy,
I live in Hana, Maui practicing spiritual medicine here. That is the closest definition I can come to with the work that I do. Can't really explain it or what happens to me when I facilitate the one love and follow, use my hands and visuals for the body. God's love is so hard to explain and about as hard for all of us to receive. I enjoyed your article about relationships and do agree that we are being stretched to the max and returning to love of the innocence, I call it, when we were young before we so unconditionally took on the patternings of our parents and past ancestors, to continually heal. My research with relationships has come to that there is such an unconditional level of love that we all show up for with each other to mirror and help attain the one love again in our hearts. The child like innocence, as Christ put it, it is sort of like returning to a child's heart where there is such compassion for all without judgment. When you observe someone in their fears and illusions and you feel such compassion for them. I have found, and believe me it is difficult to be steadfast, but I no longer become the person's illusions, it is amazing. I no longer choose to return to the lie, as I call it. Partners who show up for this and believe me I think it is so amazing this level of love, with all our stuff, to help us attain the one love, God's love, Spirit's love, what ever you are comfortable calling it, in our relationships. When you are operating in the one love with each other and your intimacy, it is beyond anything you can imagine. This love has no ego to it, no endless road, no cat chasing the tail, no failure, etc...... It does take allot of work and pain, but the results is such peace and love. I believe that our partners are so delicately planned and if you follow your heart, you will get all the answers you want, along with the courage to follow through. It is a great gift, I have just spent the last two years working with this and I cannot believe the gifts I received from it, things I never thought I would do, but I knew in my heart I needed to follow them. Having faith and trusting God is the most amazing gift there is and believe me I started along time ago, did all the breaking away new age things, all good, mostly ego, and fought the one love I knew I so wanted to be loved by. Wow, that is a mystery to me, why we are so afraid of that love, you can imagine how we are so afraid to be loved by each other, let alone the divine love. Much love, Gezelle - Hana, Maui

I just looked at you letter about relationships. And if I may say, I have been in one for over ten years, the last two are married years. For most of my life I was a spiritual head tripping, meditation sitting justifyer, with people in many settings or ashrams, but really alone, devoid of personal intimacy. I really support anyone in this spot or near it, to surrender, allowing anyone from anywhere to approach. Because I can assure you, you'll never be able to compare their outsides to their insides everytime. Someone just might surprise you. Forget the New age stuff. None of it really matters. Only love, chemistry, unity, consistency. Simple, keep it simple, something the New Age or Old Age, depending when you started in this movement, doesn't do. All the thoughts, the ideas, the rituals, the supposed levels to ascend, all of it is only a passageway. It's only about love in the end, so cut to the chase, stay there, with everyone. The simple shall inherit the earth, so Jesus now has revised. (Glenda Green's book on Christ) - Lenore

Dear Aluna,
After reading your latest letter I felt to share with you a similar realization I've been going through lately, that the path of meditation I had chosen for many lifetimes had been a lonely path, and there has been something missing in terms of experiencing intimacy with another being, although I had many such beautiful and precious moments in this lifetime. The paradox seems to be that for seekers it has always been hard to find a partner who would be travelling on the same path, be on the same wavelength or be willing and able to commit to a worldly affairs that relationships require. And of course the deep seated seed of the longing you are talking about is ultimately the longing to unite with the WHOLE. The other is only a door. So what to do when that door is not there? That's why so many thousands of people throughout human history have chosen the path of meditation... So it is either Meditation or Love, and both lead to the same goal. But as I see it, and I agree with you, why not have both, have the cake and the icing and eat them both! Like Osho says be "Zorba the Buddha." Nothing should be denied, and we deserve to live in the material and spiritual abundance! Love/Joy/Peace - Mada

Namaste Aluna Joy,
Thank you for sharing your heart. I, at one time thought the icing was the goal in life. It still amazes me today when I how my cake "IS" the icing. This reminds me of pineapple upside down cake. Spiritual concepts play a role in my life. They are like sign posts. The Heart of the matter is realized though when I become them, add their ingredients to my cake and put it in to the fire. Each time a little bit different cake/perspective emerges. Each time I remember more of who I AM. Rainbow Skywolf - Yellow Crystal Human

Dear Aluna
We all forget at moments the magnitude of the task we've set for ourselves. We have decided to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted in America. This, the nation which embodies most perfectly the most heart wrenchingly, mind numbingly, bone breaking, soul deadening, time and labor intensive way of living that the World has ever known. The pure type of a life where happiness is suspected as evil, where ill health is seen as building character and moral fiber, and where The Enemy is seen as The World and an adjustment to the enemy is merely being ready at all times to do battle against it and destroy it, in God's Holy Name, amen. ......You travel quite a bit. Doesn't it sometimes seem as though it would be easier if we were all just expatriates? Wouldn't it would be easier if we had just turned our backs on our Mother Culture and had run away from home? Wouldn't it be easier if we had just repudiated our born values and beliefs and gone off in search of others? But we didn't. We stayed. We said, we're not only going to do something different, but we're also going to do it here. Ours is not the cry of the Bohemians of the last Century and the one before: success on our own terms. No, we require some actual measure of success on our own terms but which also encompasses the terms of the culture into which we were sprung. At least to the extent to which that's possible. That's a tall order indeed. .... I loved your icing and cake analogy. But just between you and me (and all the others like us who are finding, perhaps to our chagrin, that _we_ are the ones we've been waiting for), the issue is much more subtle than that. Not just a question of icing and cake (but that too), it's a question something like molecular biology: what nourishes and sustains us and the World around us, all at the same moment, and how. Merel

Dear Aluna,
Thank you very much for this open, honest and beautifully expressed article. It takes a lot of courage to write this way and I admire you for that. I once read something regarding the importance of man/woman relationships and it was basically that since the Creator is both, masculine and feminine, when we are born we embody only one aspect, either the feminine or the masculine side of the Creator. We are therefore embodying only "one side" of the divine nature and that is why we find ourselves always longing for the other gender that will give us the feeling of wholeness that we came to experience. In other words, when we have that spiritual, physical and mental unison with a partner, it is the ideal situation for God to manifest itself in his/her full expression. That is why we also see that in nature everything has a feminine and masculine side to it. There is positive and negative, the Yin and the Yang.

...But I agree with you, we often hide behind spirituality not releasing that having a harmonious, compassionate and intimate relationship is one of the highest states of spirituality that we can experience and embark on. As Lightworkers, once we have achieved that, we will have contributed enormously to the future of our Planet. With love and deep respect for your work, Lourdes Resperger - Vienna, Austria

Dearest Aluna Joy
I've just returned from some heart work and feel very open and loving right now, such a great place to be in and to read your opening message touched me. I relate to what you say only because I have the icing and not the cake, though the cake is no doubt being baked as we speak! Aluna thanks so much for sharing with us, its made my day. Big sisterly hugs Lisa :^)

Dear Aluna Joy:
I have just read your April missive, and I for one applaud your courage to be open and vulnerable! To state accurately your feelings, your doubts, fears, misgivings, blessings..........ALL OF IT! Often times we may feel that we are the ones that are supposed to have the answers to all of life's questions, because we may have lots of insights and spiritual knowing in many areas. I think especially if you are a leader/teacher of people. The thing is...............we all need to feel and experience our humanness...exactly where we are at............without denying it or trying to "dress it up" to be something else! I also believe by being willing to ask all of those questions openly and honestly from a place of purity will bring you the answers! It has certainly helped me to see that there are others with deep probing questions to life, instead of 'faking' being together! HOORAY for you! My respect for you has doubled after reading your soul searching letter. THANK You, THANK You, THANK You for being so willing to share of yourself! I feel I have been blessed! I hope you have a WONDERFUL trip to Australia/New Zealand! I am sure you will find your "heart" questions answered while you are there! Much good wishes and good luck with your adventure! Going with an open heart is the ONLY way to fly!! :) An admirer and Sister of the Soul, Tamara ..... Creation presents to us every moment of our day the opportunity to bring joy into our lives. It is the awareness of this, having the ability to allow joy to flow in every relationship we have that will bring the joy we search for. experience, understand allow love in. In the end all anyone of us wants to know is that we are loved. I have met many people on my travels and the ones that appear to be smiling the most are often the ones who live it rather than search for it. Take a step toward the mother - be passionate about what you do and she will take a hundred steps towards you - its easy one step forward, a hundred steps forward... Be strong, follow your heart, forget your mind and allow her to take care of the rest. With age comes experience, with experience comes understanding, with understanding comes wisdom, with wisdom comes great judgement. If we follow our heart then we wont even have to learn this - we already know it. Love and light to you sister from Aotearoa

My Sister,
There are a lot of us now going through the partner puzzle. My heart goes out to you and those in this place. I can offer no answers. I would ask you, "Which is the cake and which is the icing?" If we had a wonderful partner relationship, and no relationship with the Creator, would we say that we had cake and no icing? Or would that situation be icing and no cake? (((good question here))) It's clear to me that I am here for a reason, a spiritual reason, and that must be first in my life. It would be wonderful to have a loving partner to share my life. Someone once said that each of us has two questions to ask, "Where am I going?" and "Who is going with me?" They said that many of us ask those questions in the wrong order. Those who choose a partner who is going somewhere else, spiritually, will find that there is something missing. A lot of those relationships have short lives. I have also heard that the nature of relationships has changed. (((a good observation here))) In the past, couples joined their partners to complete something incomplete in themselves. Now, humans who are themselves complete join each other to serve humanity. (((YES))) Now, I wonder if the individuals are served well by monogamy until death. We are all changing, some more quickly than others, and often in other directions. Something more fluid might be a better choice. Let's change the rules. (((We are changing the rules))) You say, partnership, community, country, planet. I wonder if community, partnership if it happens, then country and planet would serve us better. In La Kiche, Mi taku oyasin. However you say it, we are all related. I am you and you are me. No, I couldn't live in a commune. I'm not advocating free love. I think most of us are past that. And, from birth, we are all conditioned to believe that everything would be OK if we had a relationship (preferably with kids, a Volvo station wagon with golden retriever, huge mortgage, lots of insurance, and a personal banker). A relationship doesn't fix everything. It's more work. And it is very rewarding and can be one of the best experiences of being in human form. I am living by myself now, and loving my solitude. It is obviously the right thing for me right now. Years ago, a friend mentioned her preference to me, and it hasn't really resonated until now. She said that she would like to be married on the weekends. Now, THAT would be icing on the cake! Love and blessings, Allan Clark

HI Aluna Joy.......
Thank you for the message of the "Icing on the Cake"!! SO well written and thought out. Your sister is most wise in her simple and short words..... so much was there..........Look at what you got.........WOW!! WOW!! And you are a wise woman.... I have always thought and known that about you. ME............I want to aim for the stars and dig that deep into earth too.... and miss nothing in between. And I have missed some things over the years. All in all I am content with my life.......... "I do Not want to be soo Spiritual that I am No Earthly GOOD!!" From wise teacher..... Virle Minto ....Love you, Evelyn

Aloha Aluna,
Thank you for sharing yourself. I feel the same way about relationship. Separated from a good one just about two years ago. Been through much movement, sadness, clearing, healing, awakening (as have we all) through that time. Many have said it is the separation from source we feel. Have been feeling that deep loneliness (you mentioned) and wanted a partner (as you described so well), but not quite sure I was ready for one yet. Feel when I am one will appear, soon. Divine timing. The cake is on the way and you have plenty of icing. You'll be living up to your name for sure. Blessings, Keth & Dr Light

Aluna Joy,
I enjoyed your article about cake and icing. If you are not already familiar with David Deida's work, , there may be some information there for you. I feel he is in tune to why so many men and women are feeling empty and unfulfilled and how to find our 'cake'. Thanks for the energy and work you put into the monthly letters. Sheryl

Dear Aluna
First of all I want to thank you for the many wonderful issues of your letter that you so diligently put out. Not only do I find them filled with many wonderful messages, but also find quite often a sense of relatedness, in particular with your words in this issue. I am also a woman alone (without a significant other) and have been 14 years with the exception of a brief interlude that lasted two years. Prior to that time, I had been married for 27 years and have four wonderful adult children and five granddaughters under the age of seven. I can also relate to living in a beautiful surrounding of my choice which is also on sacred ground, and so I feel not only blessed but honored to be 'Keeper of Eagle Rock'. I am also able to travel easily and have visited many of the sacred sites of the world. I also travel and visit with my family regularly. I am an artist/writer and live quite a full life. And yet, 'Yes, I am also feeling the aloneness'. I look forward, however, to this year of the 'Heart'. Morgaine

Hi Aluna,
Thank you for talking about the icing and the cake theory. I'm one of those that saw and felt a glimpse of cake but haven't really gotten to experience much of the reality of having cake, although I made a pineapple upside down cake from scratch the other day and hadn't done that in ten years or so. Interesting that you would talk about this because Spirit and I have had this ongoing argument for ten years since "he" left and there just hasn't been anyone else I felt such a connection with. What I wonder is if it would have been better not to have experienced "the glimpse" and therefore never know the desire. I've given up in a way because I don't choose to settle for less. I've tried to explain that to others but they don't understand why I can't just go find someone else. My soulmate left because he had other karma to fulfill that I couldn't do with him. So is it circumstances like karma or is it just desire and feelings? I don't know yet. That relationship left me with enough feelings for a long time....that love is all the feelings we have ever felt and can feel all in one. .... Do you think that is why we choose to come into physical form ... to be human? To feel love and not just have the knowledge of it? .... I know we come in as soul familys. When you meet someone of your own soul family that you have know for lifetimes it's an experience you don't forget. At least I won't. The icing, yes, that's nice too..... keep that up Aluna Joy, for many of us that are still working on this, your energy helps a lot. And who knows, maybe there will be one great big huge cake someday! Again, thanks for writing about this subject. So few of us have the courage to speak up and tell it like it is like you do. Finding ourselves and our path is no reason to keep us from finding that true love of oneness in a partnership and co-creating together. Chris

Hi Aluna,
Just read your article. Being spiritual and human is a paradox itself. Having the cake and eating it too is another paradox. I look at you and I feel wow, she is free to do whatever she wants, but hearing you say of your emptiness, I realize that what I have been going through this year make great spiritual sense. I have been getting into every days stuff and am enjoying it and find it full filling. I had previously though I was neglecting my spiritual growth, but in getting down to the mundane things I have opened my heart more than I ever could. Yes, children are our greatest teacher and my 4 children certainly open my heart in numerous ways. So get deeply involve with your daughters and grandson, have joy and open your heart! Love, Light and Joy, Liew

hello...i read your sharing and it touched my heart... i would share with you that as a spiritual being having a human experience and the wonderfully fun things your life has available.... that opening your heart is the most natural thing in the world... we all feel that emptiness ... and it comes from the seeking we have to grow back to our spiritual roots... oneness with all that is.... the pain of your recent relationship brought the possibility that as you open yourself to your own loving center...the one you were born with...that part of you that loves you no matter what... the piece of the creator that is given to us all...once we invite that part of us to guide us, and help us remember everyday that we are wonderful and marvelous...and trying to be the grandest expression of ourselves that we can imagine...kind and considerate... compassionate and loving... forgiving and accepting of ourselves first.... that very energy...draws to us the very one we are then ready to create "we" with.... i encourage you to love you no matter what ...anyone else says or does...or what you say to yourself....let that love fill you and you will fill complete within you ...when that occurs you will find the one for the "we".... i enjoy your sharings and wanted to let you know someone reading it cares about you....blessings and love kay :-)